Childhood

I met Maggie and Tom.  They seem to be having a quite quiet simple life at the Floss.  Maggie is a sensitve girl who loves her brother Tom more than its seems to be.

One thing about Maggie is that she's not the kind of girl their society expects her to be.  She has brown skin which doesn't seem to fit a girl-from-St.Oggs description.  But Maggie doesn't really care.  What she wanted was to be exactly the way she is, be accepted exactly the way she is.  One more important thing is Maggie believes that what she knows is far more important than how she looks.

In her young mind, she has a lot to learn.  But it seems that society does not want her to be given the chance.  She just have to be what a girl is to be.  But not for Maggie.  I think she'll go exactly where she wants to go and be exactly what she wants to be.

Tom, on the other hand, does not seem to be as smart as Maggie.  It's just that he's a boy and he seems to be stereotyped by their society to be the boy every parent would want to have.  In reality, Tom seems to be weak.

Our childhood is very important.  This is what moulds us for our adult life.  The memory of Peter comes back.  He had a very difficult childhood and that was exactly what led him to do what he did during that nineteen minutes.  Society plays a big part on our foundation.  And a family is considered the smallest society.

George Eliot wanted to show the importance of love and acceptance even at a very young age.  He wrote about it when Tom got angry with Maggie for the dead rabbits she forgot to feed.  Maggie was asking for forgiveness as she rushed to him and clung on his neck, sobbing.  This is an excerpt from the book:

We learn to restrain ourselves as we get older.  We keep apart what we have quarrelled, express ourselves in well-bred phrases, and in this way preserve a dignified alienation,  showing much firmness on one side and swallowing much grief on the other.  We no longer approximate in our behavoir to the mere impulsiveness of the lower animals, but conduct ourselves in every respect like memebers of a highly civil society.

I'll Cross The Bridge

I think this is going to be my third classical novel.

It is 'The Mill on the Floss' by George Eliot.

I am reading this alternately with 'Twilight,' which I actually started about a month ago but couldn't for some reason.  But right now, I think I'll be able to double-read just in case I get bored somewhere with either of the book.

The story started with the description of the little place as the storyteller stands on the bridge.  I was really carried away by how G. Eliot described the scenery.  I was to the point of actually smelling the breeze smelling of soil and all.  That was how far i have gone so far.  Standing in the middle of the bridge, watching the small town before me.  I think I'll have a good time in this town.

I would admit that I had a hard time with the book The Idiot and didn't seek any study guides or something like that.  But since now, I discovered [yeah, I hear ya... only now] that I can have some study guides on the internet which would help me figure out some things that I am having a hard time understanding.  You can also click on the link if you would like to know more about the book.  But right now, I can tell you, I am not sure if these are spoilers since I haven't read much yet.... either of the book nor the study guide.

Danag

OK,  so Nineteen Minutes is over.

I wasn't a double-reader actually, ever since, until now.

So, I guess I am going to continue with Belle and Edward, as per one of my reader's advice.  Well, I really wanted to but I think I have been putting of Nineteen Minutes for over a year [or about two months since I got the book].

Well, the first vampire book I have read was 'Servant of the Bones' by Anne Rice, which I didn't get to finish because I had to return it outright [awww...  saidReichan15].  So, I guess this is my chance to read another vampire book, and very popular for that matter.   I am a holder of Magrudy's BookshopLoyalty Card and part of the privelege is having to subscribe to their monthly newsletter containing the 'Top Ten Books of the Month' and 'New Releases.'  If there's one thing I find a little odd here, it's the fact that the series falls under the children's book category.  I find it kinda strange, really.

So, Danag is a Filipina vampire.  Cool!  Another dot for the Philippines.  Yeah!  But it wasn't in the movie... Oh well, whatever.  Some of you might find me shallow, but I feel a little pride everytime I can read, hear, see something related to my country, no matter how short, how small, how brief, how limited.

Anyway, I am reading this alternatively on paperback and ebook forms...  Cool...

Exodus

Nineteen Minutes.

p. 642

Is there any other ending fit than this?

I'm not quite sure.  When I wrote about Lacy shopping for Peter's clothes, I just don't know what to expect.  It's like I didn't want it to finish because I am too afraid of what the outcome will be.  I was too afraid for Peter, and what's going to happen after the trial.  I was even thinking of how it might be if he gets acquitted, which is close to impossible, as Jordan may well know the whole time.  What life is waiting for him after the trial - acquitted or not?

Josie, however, surprised me.  I don't know how to feel for her, what to feel for her.  Part of me understands her, part of me wants to condemn her.  But Peter, her best friend all along, didn't leave her, didn't betray her, something he was looking for all his life, not only from Josie.

We all live in a world that is unfair.  As we all know, we all have different ways in dealing with whatever comes our way.  We are different in the way we handle success, failure, love, depression, etc.  But in Peter's case, if you didn't have the courage, would you wish you had it?

Aegis

Lacy was shopping for Peter's clothes.

I wonder is she feels excited about it, or if she does, why?  Do we really feel excited when we get to choose clothes to wear for things like funerals?  I think we are, because, we are all excited so see, [1] who among our friends will show up; [2] if the ones who would show up were the ones who admire your taste; [3] if the wones who would show up were the ones who used to not admire your taste will suddenly compliment you, to your surprise.

Anyway, as for Peter I could only sympathize... if this is the exact word for what I truly feel.  Right now, as his mother shop for his clothes, I am looking for possibilities.

Like the possibility of Pter being acquitted, if and when he does, what sort of life would he face outside?  Did this incident actually obliterated the reason for his doing this?  I mean, he wasn't able to get rid of everything [everyone] and those that survived feels pain, strong enough for revenge.  What can those people who care do to help him, support him, as he start again... if starting is possible again.

Wast he even right when he said, 'it should have been me?'

1,140

The first most controversial of it was the Columbine shooting.  Well, it is the first that I have heard of and followed for a while.  There must have been cases like this that weren't sensationalized before. This is the first one that got into my hands.  I tried to follow the story as much as I could with the little sources I had... until the news died down but the memory remained alive.  There were more, but I wasn't able to keep track.  The last time I read very briefly of, is the internet-based social networking wherein you make friends and discussions, and eventually led one [most of them teens] to commit suicide; it is called Cult Suicide and  I read it on this blog that I decided to follow though it hasn't discuss more than what has been written there.

What really happened?  There isn't much yet that I have read.  I seek to know what transpired in ninteen minutes.  But more than that, I want to know what it takes to conceive all these, what led him to do what he has done.  So far, the only thing he said was, "They started it."

Nineteen Minutes.  Was it the time it took for him to execute his plan?  Was it the time it took him to plan for his moves?  How many seconds of that ninteen minutes did he take to even think of backing out [just in case this is the time it took him to carry out the plan]?

Well, wherever we are, most of us have been through a lot in early school.  For some, this would be a memory that they choose not to remember.  In fact, we choose to forget - tried so hard to erase.  In The Idiot, Myshkin tried to fit in.  But in the end, it cost him more than he was supposed to.  He was ten years older than Peter.  He is Russian, Peter is American.  But it is not an issue.  They both live in a society that doesn't seem to give them what they need.  To make it short, Myshkin seems to be luckier than Peter, for he was gifted with something that will make him not hurt at all. Something he always had, tried to lose, but the one that help him cope with it all.  But with Peter, so far as I have read, he lives to tell the tale.

I think these all is not about being an outcast.  It's just about being accepted as we are; to belong.

Let's see if I am right...

It's Over

I wasn't expecting any kind of ending with regard to the story.  But I actually didn't expect the end to be that way.  There are a lot of things that I still want to know.  A lot of reasons that I wanted to discuss, argue with [myself, that is], and justify.  I have read an article or two about Fyodor's style, one of which was a critque, the other a defender.  To tell you the truth, it almost made me stop reading the book for good, but I wanted to see how the end would be.

Anyway, the critic was right when he said that a lot of the story's characters are half-baked.  I think I should also add that a lot of sub-stories had no ending [nor beginning... at times] and you are left to wonder and speculate about the end of it, or even how it came about.  On the other hand, the defender justified that Fyodor tells his story about life as it happens; which means that probably, in real life, all things just happen - with no reason and no end.  For this part, I wholly agree with the defender.  The book is very long.  But that is because Fyodor had so much to say.  He discussed politics, religion, Catholicism as it happens in one's life, a day at a time.  The only thing is, somehow, Dostoevsky might have opted not to finish off with one topic deliberately because he feels that there were a lot more important issues n the story and that these issues are of another story.

I am touched by a lot of sub-stories in the book.  There were a lot of things that Dostoevsky was able to articulate and describe in detail.  There are a lot of issues that he discussed and the discussion of which has brought light to some of those things that I haven't thought of at all.  I was rather fascinated at how he discussed certain death [as in death sentence] vs. uncertain death [like an accident].  I couldn't quite articulate about these things.  So, I suggest that if you want to find out more, you should read the book.  There is a lot more than death, religion, politics.  But I was rather perplexed that the center of tha story seems to be love, but which I didn't find any kind or romance in it.  Romance in the figurative sense - not the literal.  So, it made me believe that his intention for this book was originally of political note.  Only using the affairs of Myshkin with the society that he chose to live with so that he can discuss [or vent out] his whims and qualms against the society he lives with in reality.

During my adventure with the book, I thought of maybe like doing it the way other writers did.  In a way that it's a book with a lot of stories, like Stephen King's 'Different Seasons'' where you can find the story, 'Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.'  But then again, I contradicted myself for the book might lose its spontaneity and continuity.   Because in a way, the sum seems  not to be equal with its parts, so I think it was unwise for me to say that I can give an ending to each of the story had I proposed it that way.

If he was able to justify the adventures and misadventures of this idiot, I leave upon you to say for yourself.

The Cold Ones

You see, I am not really sure which is the one I started first.  But right now, I am with Fyodor, and because of some distractions, I couldn't go forward as much as I can.  The internet, bonding with friends and room mates.  It seems that I put reading for last these days.

But anyway, I was forcibly lent this book "Twilight."  I said forcibly because I already have an e-book of that about late January and it sat on my laptop for a while.  Until my friend read and finished it in about four days (tops) and since I think she doesn't know where she'll keep the book, she said I could have it; knowing that I have it on my file.

So, I started, but didn't go far... until now.  From what I know so far, the cold ones are not allowed to the reservations.  For reasons, I think you should find at the book but not for me to disclose.  Twilight has been such a hit, obviously.  But the reason why I looked for an e-book is that I certainly do not know Stephanie Meyer and I am not sure if the book is worth the loot I will have to shell out (as for my taste, that is).  Also, being the hit of the days, I don't know but I don't drool over it as much I do for SK.  [errr...  I promised myself not to compare with SK anymore... rolls eyes]

Well, the last time I flipped the book's pages was, uhm, three weeks ago.   I am on the third part of the Idiot, and hoping to finish it soon because I already am in the process of choosing what's next in line.  As for Twilight, uhmmmm...  I don't know.  Do you suggest that I go on reading about Bella and Edward and Jacob?

Myshkin's Affectation

Everybody seems to be affected by Myshkin.  After their first impression of him being what he is, they come to him saying that he's the only TRUE person that they met at that time.  They want to be friends with him, seeking his relation as someone whom they will entrust with their individual affairs.

However, every since Myshkin talked to Rogozhin and told him about what he feels for Nastasya Filippovna, I couldn't help but think about his insincerity about this declaration.  Given the circumstances at the time of the revelation, what he said might not be truly what he feels.

He has been spending some time with Aglaia and he feels different every time.  Like the one we feels when we are with someone that truly interests us.  Someone we truly like but not necessarily love.  But still, I don't believe about what he feels for Nastasya.  Well, he truly might be an idiot for saying that.   A martyr?  Nah...  I don't think so.  It's probably the fact that he knows that he and Nastasya can't be.  Under any circumstance.

With Aglaia, on the other hand, there is a possiblity.  But considering the culture, there are some obstacles.  Aglaia seems to be trying to find a way to be with him.  But it is still too early to tell of her intentions.  Could it be that she is really in love with Myshkin?  Or is it possbile that she's just overwhelmed with Myshkin being the kind of person that he is?  As in those times and as they say, you cannot find someone like Myshkin in their society.