Rose

That's a point of pride with us.  And you'll eventually pay for your room and board, although we like to think the prices here are very reasonable.  She smiled that brief, preening smile again.  "You should be aware that the accommodations are a long way from fancy.  Most of the second floor has been turned into a dormitory.

How many women are like Rose?

This is the question that came up in my mind as I started reading the book, as I started reading about Rose.

She couldn't get out.  The worse part is she didn't want to get out.  Out of the house that she knew very well, out of the life that she's been living for the past fourteen years.  Her reason is simple.  But is this the same reason they all have?

All the women like her?

Fear Is a Strange Thing

She would rather be the one who was persecuted than the one who did the persecuting.  Both had a terrible price to pay, but she would rather endure the humiliation and fear than grow numb to what it was to be human.

Fear is a strange thing.  It strips off masks… In some people it brings out the lowest instincts, while others become more compassionate.  Both have to do with survival.  But the choice is ours.

Your friend whom you will trust with your life suddenly becomes a stranger.  You start doubting whether just a simple thing you say will be used against you.

Trudi lives through these times.  Actually, at some points, I even forget all about Trudi.  Consumed by what is happening around her, I often forget about Trudi's condition.  I often forget about Trudi's problems, her hopes, her fears, her dreams.  But then again, how can you hope?  How can you dream?  When all you have to worry about is the fear.  The fear for your life, the fear for your friends, and the fear of the war and what it was doing to all of them, to their town, to their country.

But even so….

She felt dizzy longing for peace, a longing as powerful as the passion with which she used to will her body would grow as consuming as the passion that had fueled her revenge on the boys who'd humiliated her.  And what she wanted more than anything that moment was for all the differences between people to matter no more - differences in size and race and belief - differences that had become justification for destruction.

Goodness? Goodness!

I was surfing the tv last night during prime time and not a thing caught my interest... until the animated Disney version of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame."

I think I mentioned when I was reading this book about two months ago that I am kind of intrigued as to how this kind of story will be made into a movie by Disney Pictures.  And I was glad that I saw it yesterday.  So, I tuned in and started to watch.  The part that I came upon was when Quasimodo and Esmeralda were talking and later on, Quasimodo took Esmeralda to a 'trip' around Notre Dame.  More later,  one of the men [didn't know who] was almost begging Quasimodo to let him down.

Quasimodo and Esmeralda talking and taking a trip around Paris?  How can they talk in the first place?  How can Quasimodo understand Esmeralda?

As I read through the last parts of the story in the book, the thought of this being a Disney movie always come upon me.   How can you make an ending to such a story?  And how can you turn it into an animated movie having such a plot, such an ending?

I didn't finish the movie.  All because I know that it would be totally different from the original story.  All I know is that they tried to circle the story around the goodness of Quasimodo; whitewashing everything to make it look good on the eyes of child; on the eyes of those who haven't read the story.  But if they wanted something to bank on the goodness of Quasimodo, I think they could come up with someone else in the likeness of Quasimodo with their army of artistic imaginative people.

Goodness!

No One

At this point in her life, Trudi is starting to realize the good things of her being different.

One thing is that she can decide to be something that was not allowed to girls her age.  She is starting to feel that, after all, being not the same as everyone else will put her in situations that she's not required to because she's different.

But still, there is something that she wanted to do so badly.  Something inside her that desires more than the conveniences of being different.

At some points in reading the story, I could almost feel for Trudi.  And there are some points that it feels like I have had enough of everything that has been happening to her.  Every pain, every sacrifice, every lost friend, lost love.  But the will to go on reading is stronger.  I want her to realize that there is more to life than being different, that there is more to life than being normal, and, that there is more to life than being how everybody is supposed to be.

I look forward to the time to see Trudi triumphed against all that she dreaded; against all the pain she felt.  I look forward to seeing Trudi see what else is there for her and not what she's been looking for all the time.  I'd love to see her see the other side of her that is waiting to be acknowledged, recognized and reinvented.

I want Trudi to know what Pia meant when she said:

"No one but you can change that."

As if I can change her fate.

As if I can turn her life around as I turn the pages.